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~got nothing but toejam~
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Sunday, June 18, 2006

If you happened to pass by the post below...


you notice the theme running through these two posts. Was unintentional at the time as I wrote the previous post earlier last night...but after sitting here in the cold because my heater went it's three strikes and you're fucking well OUT bizo...I left it un-posted. Instead I laid on the lounge all snuggly and warm with a slight haze happening. When my Tele decided it would go all buzzy with interference. It did it a few times, each time longer and more insistent than the last. It was then I noticed the soft sound of...zztt...zzzttttt...zzztTTT.

I crept up the hall with brain itemising all possible electrical 'things' in each room that I pass...up near my laundry doorway, it stops. I wait. With ears cocked and nose twitching I wait some more. Nothing happens. I return to the magic lounge slash bed thinking I'm a silly bugger it's all in the 'happy haze' I have going on.

Twenty minutes later, again with the TV...this time I mute it and maan the noise is like if a giant moth of mythical proportions had been caught in the biggest bug zapper never yet made...or like someone was welding something really mofoing big.

zzzzzzzzzzztttttttt...zzzzzzt...zzztt...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTT...zzzttttt....ZZZTTTTTT.

I hurry up the hallway, stopping at the side door outside to our co-joined carports. Turning on my outside light...hesitantly, I'm opening up the door thinking fuck me what if my door is electrified like in some surreal this is my life, this is my destiny movie. The zztting stops. Bastid.

But, it had awoken and drawn my neighbour Sally out...I knew it was really happening then. ooeer. After we stood there in our PJ's, WTFing, giggling and questioning each other, it went again. Heh, made us both squeal and jump. It was coming from the electricity box housing all the four flats meters and their supply. The same box that is located in my backyard...well of course it would be located there uh. So like Hell if I was going out there, Sally went and got our other neighbour Doug.

With Sally and I hiding around the corner, heads peeking out, mouths speaking loud cautions. Me reminding myself NOT to touch him if he gets lit up while trying to think of our nearest cross street for the ambo drivers...Doug opens the door to the box. He lives. Nothing seems burned out but three out of the eight meters are just flying around. Mine, Sally's and Doug's...Friar-Fucks wasn't spinning at all. Well frigging great there goes our bills sky high...especially when Doug said they were the water heater meters.

Without further noise from the box, cautions not to turn on our taps [that was me] and with instructions to Doug to come out when his Tele starts mucking up we retreat to our respective flats...I leave my lights on outside and backyard door open so Doug can gain rapid access the next time. Was just a little bit later when it happened again. And "IT" was bloody annngry. Doug was nominated by Sally and seconded by me [heh...democracy what] to ring Country Energy's emergency number to report it.

Back indoors...feeling myself wanting a coffee, I fill my kettle from the jug of water I usually have sitting there. It was when the kettle had boiled, when I forgot about my warning and rinsed my big thermos like cup with the water from the tap I had just automatically turned on...it was only then that I went "utoh" a split second after my hand reached under it.

Our next half-hourly get together we were informed by Doug that they were sending someone out...tonight. Whoa must be pretty dangerous for them to send someone at 1am. Dude arrives within an hour telling us how cold it is out this way..."Yeah, tell us about it, we been out here on and off for the past three hours"...After much checking, unscrewing bits and telling us well just Doug really, to stand back.

He deduced that it was indeed our water heaters causing the problem going by the burning marks he found in their supply box plus the continual green zap that we all saw [it was pritty] when he turned it back on. He also informed us that it is replaced and fixed by a contractor not him. But, he could pull out the bit that was responsible for it all. We just wouldn't have hot water until it was fixed. Not wanting to wake up dead in the morning [like you would if you were dead] we voted that he do indeed remove the offending bit.

Then we all had rapid animalistic orgy like sex because of the electricity in the air. Haa no we most certainly did not. I just put that to see if youse were still here reading this.

This morning when getting the update regarding the contractor...said to Doug, ooer Bitch better be fixing mah bloody oven. I deserve a pizza by now. To which Doug replied, well he said he'd come today if he can get the part to fix your oven, if he can't, he'll be out tomorrow.

Just went and visited Doug [impulsive aren't I] enquiring if he'd heard anything. Nope. So perhaps it is pizza tomorrow night instead.

Now...you watch me roll a scoob and him turn up.
Posted by apositivepessimist :: 6:32 am :: 10 comments

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