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Friday, June 16, 2006

Because I was once told...

"You catch more flies with honey"...hold on that must be bee's 'cause really why would you bloody want to catch flies in the first place. Unless you had a pet frog. I have decided to do an e-mail to Nincompoop Nick at the real estate office regarding my non-working oven. That way I get to think before I talk...so to speak.

My sister and I discussed him on the drive back from shopping...she reckons he is a Chester, Chester child molester. I don't get that vibe about him but it does tie in with his Churchie binds. I just get that slick-but-thick vibe from him. But he is the type I can see rifling through your undie drawer...so I will add my phone number to the e-mail reminding him I expect a phone call before any entrance to my flat is undertaken. I will be booby-trapping stuff.

So, I was tagged by this one ...here...

If I were a month, I would be:...one in the springtime.

If I were a day of the week, I would be:...friday.

If I were a time of day, I would be:...night.

If I were a sea animal, I would be:...an otter...are otters in salt water? okay yes I have been told they do indeed do sea water.

If I were a direction, I would be:...lost.

If I were a sin, I would be:...delicious.

If I were a historical figure I would be:...dead.

If I were a planet, I would be:...pissing myself laughing at earth.

If I were a liquid, I would be:...like greased lightning.

If I were a stone, I would be:...a tree.

If I were a tree, I would be:...a pretty flowered one with thorns...big fucking thorns.

If I were a bird, I would be:...pooping on your car.

If I were a flower/plant, I would be:...a water lily.

If I were a kind of weather, I would be:...summery rain.

If I were a mythical creature, I would be:...a yeti. going by the hair I've grown lately maybe not so mythical.

If I were a musical instrument, I would be:...a triangle.

If I were an animal, I would be:...a monkey.

If I were a colour, I would be:...blue/green.

If I were an emotion, I would be:...mischievous.

If I were a vegetable, I would be:...a pineapple...heh THAT's a fruit.

If I were a sound, I would be:...a cackle.

If I were an element, I would be:...air.

If I were a song, I would be:...an oldie but a goodie.

If I were a movie, I would be:...looking like a character actress in it.

If I were a book, I would be written by:...an illiterate.

If I were a food, I would be:...something saucy like Italian.

If I were a place, I would be:...between heaven and hell.

If I were a taste, I would be:...sweet and sour.

If I were a scent, I would be:...lingering.

If I were a religion, I would be:...cult like.

If I were a word, I would be:...balance.

If I were a body part, I would be:...the eyebrows.

If I were a facial expression, I would be:...grinning.

If I were a subject in school, I would be:...sport.

If I were a cartoon character, I would be:...a vulture.

If I were a shape, I would be:...a splash.

If I were a number, I would be:...somewhere in the middle, a 5.

If I were a piece of jewellery, I would be:...an eyebrow ring.

If I were a piece of furniture, I would be:...a beanbag.

If I were a car, I would be:...in working order.

If I were an item of clothing, I would be:...a pair of runners.

I won’t tag...just take it if you want it. You know you want it. Take it...go on taaaake iiiiit.

Heh I stuck this at the other place 'cause I liked it.
Posted by apositivepessimist :: 8:50 pm :: 5 comments

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