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Monday, June 22, 2009

He’ll never be eligible for Mensa.


I think I’ve made mention of my father-in-law being non to bright. A polite way of saying it would be, he’s dumber than a sack full of arseholes…except arseholes at least know that that’s crap that they’re cranking out.

“Mom. MOM. Johnny and me had to ring eleven-eleven-nine just then!!!”.

Luckily for the injured man it was Johnny who did the dialling.

He got laid off work about three months back. I didn’t think my mother-in-law would survive it. Him being home all the time, well home when he isn’t next door helping his friend John with his lawnmower repair business. Yeah he’s good at lifting things and fetching tools. Sometimes he’ll fetch the wrong tool. Sometimes he’ll fetch it wrong three times over. Usually you’d hear John start yelling a description of the wanted tool after the third time. Patience of a bloody saint that man John. I would’ve got the tool myself and been beating him about the head [lets face it, couldn’t give him anymore brain damage] and body after the second fuck-up.

Whose a cranky cow?

But my mother-in-law must be coping okay with his continual presence on the home front. She’s made an appointment to get him on disability for dummies. And Fuck if ever a man was eligible for this it’s him. I thank Bubbha that my husband is not from his loins. It’s his step dad. Although my mother-in-law would also be thinking that their home will be paid for if he gets it. Therefore she may be able to retire earlier also.

Then I think she’ll do him in. I know I bloody would.

Who are the three most dangerous people?

A bitch with a gun.
A motherfucker with a knife.
And a cocksucker with a broken tooth.

HaHa. Sorry but it made me laugh.

And after the day I’ve had I need a bloody good laugh. It all started with the phone ringing at 4.06am. They wanted me to come into work early as there had been a fire at the nursing home. Turns out there were no flames to this fire just lots and lots of smoke. Smoke that permeated all through the rooms. Hence a helluva lot of washing for the SuperLaundryCow to attend to. I have never seen so many laundry piles…well not since the HalfPriceSpecialGirl finally got fired.

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Posted by apositivepessimist :: 3:04 am :: 7 comments

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