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Friday, October 19, 2007

Piss Off I have the LIFE NOW!!


So it appears it’s been over a month or so [WTF a whole bloody mooonth???] since I last blogged here. I just bet youse people missed me heaps huh!! But until me chouff kicks in and I feel like weaving a web of words re: what’s been going on with me…which has been lots and LOTS…for you nosey buggers.

I will keep it short and concise.

My vagina and I kicked over another year. Thankfully I wasn’t rostered to work that day, or else the LittleFatBastid might have missed me taking him out for the day and then buying him a meal. Yes, that’s right I paid for my birthday. Gotta love the little fat fuckers audacity hey. I can’t waaait til it’s his day of birth to see where he takes me. Better be worth his being born. HaHa.

I starred in a production of The Best Little Nursing Home in Texas Kentucky. I’m just hoping my ad-libbing and re-acting to the Judges questions didn’t make it to the promotional film shot. I’ve confused you now have I? Okay I need to back up a step.

Before my laundry skills were employed down at God’s Waiting Room they had entered and won for Best Nursing Home in the District. Now they’re going for the State. As seems to be the way with some people and their incessant need for the “titles” of being THE Best, Biggest, Baddest, godliest etc; they went all out to secure the bragging rights in the nursing home business.

Upon the day of Judgement, I had to laugh when I saw what came out of the various store-rooms to help dress up the place. Pictures suddenly sprang from the walls, vases of flowers were suddenly in bloom, coats of paint were applied. Even our old metal chairs in the staff room had white slip covers placed over them…Incidentally, we so better get a fucking jacket if we win State. Mind you, they’re still waiting to receive the tee-shirt for District. I bet that bloody owner is holding onto the tee’s just so he can save a few bob and add “Winner of State” to them, if indeed they do win it. Yeah Mate, I got yer bloody number.

I kinda stopped laughing when the sixty-one fucking beds consisting of top and bottom sheets, pillow-cases, bed pads and blankets NOT to mention all the residents own quilts were changed and given to the Lone Laundresser [that was me BTW] by the over-supply of CNA’s…usually stands for certified nursing aides but this day I thought they were more right proper cunt nazi arseholes but I digress. Some of us were busy as all fuck. And some of us had time to stand around looking pretty. I was in the former category.

But back to the promotional video, it’s to be aired at the Awards night next month. And that’s where the attendees will see some Aussie piece placing her neatly [it ALWAYS is] folded linen onto the storage cart. If I knew I was going to appear on film I would have attended NIDA’s Dramatic Institute of Performing Arts and practiced my smiling grin instead of having to use my snarly one.

Ha! I’m in the short film business. No. No autographs “freely” given.

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Posted by apositivepessimist :: 3:29 pm :: 27 comments

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