Thursday, July 02, 2009
Relations and other Irritations.
You know, sometimes I want to hurt the LittleFatBastid really bad.
He annoys me so.
I know, I know. That’s relationships innit.
Luckily for him he has vacated the premises. I don’t believe the cupboard doors coulda sustained another round of closings…not quite slammed but neither gentle. Not noisy enough to risk his wrath but enough that I felt slightly, just ever so slightly better. But boy did those dishes get a good workout. I washed them bastards hard.
Ha. I get mad and do the dishes. If I’m really pissed off I clean the whitegoods…stove, microwave fridge. Fuck me ay. But its either do the dishes or unleash my no holds barred tongue on him. Yes I do have that ability to say not really what I mean always, but what I mean in the moment.
Why you little cocksuckingmotherfuckingprick…blah blah!
Yo! Feel the love uh.
Speaking of love.
I do adore my friend Alky but dammit sometimes I’m irritated by her habit of repeating herself or over-explaining things. I’m not sure if she thinks I’m like everyone else she knows, but fuckme I have the capability of remembering shit. And sometimes I’m pretty smart.
I am about to be tested.
We are going down to her brothers houseboat. Leave Sunday arvo returning the Tuesday one. Well, maybe we are going. She still has to confirm it with him. Which is something that irritated me. I thought it was a done deal. I mean I arranged to miss a day of work. A day, somebody who earns $7.50 an hour can’t really afford to miss. But she nagged me enough to the point I thought, yeah this little trip might be alright. It would get me out of this county and away from the same old scenery. A new scenery that must contain a mountain or two. After her third mention of seeing these mountains I had to tell her I have actually seen mountains before. Admittedly not this mountain. But Fuck. It’s a mountain. Move on.
Since she got fired I have seen a lot more of Alky. Like every day. Or so it seems. The blessing is she doesn’t stay overly long, just long enough to eat, piss and repeat shit I heard from her the previous visits.
Like, to remind me that I only need a set of clothes for the trip down there and the trip back and my swim togs for the day we are there. I’m not sure if she thinks I’m a prissy girl who doesn’t know how to pack for a two night stay somewhere, or, she thinks I’m rich enough to have a lot of clothes. There’s not much choice in my summer wardrobe. Shorts, tee-shirts, two pairs of ¾ sport-daks… okay now lets eliminate the ones that are holey and/or bleach stained…short, tee-shirt and the two pairs of daks. As for the swimming togs. Yeah right. I only do swimmers in the privacy of me. Cut-offs and singlet will suffice.
Or, to not smoke in her non-smoking-sister-in-laws car, if she gets to borrow it. Again, I thought it was a done deal and she was borrowing it. The non-smoking bit, I knew that soon as she said her sister-in-law didn’t smoke. See. Smart with a capital esssss.
Or, to make sure we vacuum, do dishes, make beds, turn breaker box off. Basically leave it as you find it. I was pretty sure, the brother as wealthy as he is, would not have a maid-service for his houseboat. All but the breaker box turnoff, I would think was a given yerknow.
Arrghhh but she’s a very good and generous person who means well, can be really quite fun when she isn’t repeating the same old shit. Maybe by the end of the trip I will have her trained enough to the “Bullshit Off” command to respect and not be hurt by it.Labels: My Baad Self, Toejam
Posted by apositivepessimist ::
12:55 PM ::
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Saturday, June 27, 2009
Death and other cat-as-trophies.
So there’s been a few deaths lately uh.
My mother-in-law not liking to be outdone in the death, destruction and tragedy department rang to inform us that the RedHeadedStepSister’s cat had got run over.
I’m leaving the next few lines blank until I can think about a more acceptable emotion that may have washed over me in that moment. An emotion other than. WTF do I bloody care. Damn thing was a killing machine. Birds. Baby BunnyRabbits…and my fucking frogs. Well okay not technically my frogs but I like frogs so they’re all classed as mine. I much prefer the bird, bunnies and frogs to the “domesticated” feline.
We did encourage her to buy a bell for the killing machine. Encouragement was stepped up after I tied the wacking big “come and get it” bell around the cats neck…[Yes. I’m joking…thought about it tho] and a tinkly bell was purchased. It lasted around the cats neck for about a week or so. Don’t know if it came off on it’s own accord, or if it was aided and abetted by someone.
That is their excuse for not going to a birthday do for two of her grandkids.
The death of the cat.
I can’t help but think. Did the cat have a last thought?
Karmic or otherwise.Labels: Toejam
Posted by apositivepessimist ::
2:34 PM ::
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Monday, June 22, 2009
He’ll never be eligible for Mensa.
I think I’ve made mention of my father-in-law being non to bright. A polite way of saying it would be, he’s dumber than a sack full of arseholes…except arseholes at least know that that’s crap that they’re cranking out.
“Mom. MOM. Johnny and me had to ring eleven-eleven-nine just then!!!”.
Luckily for the injured man it was Johnny who did the dialling.
He got laid off work about three months back. I didn’t think my mother-in-law would survive it. Him being home all the time, well home when he isn’t next door helping his friend John with his lawnmower repair business. Yeah he’s good at lifting things and fetching tools. Sometimes he’ll fetch the wrong tool. Sometimes he’ll fetch it wrong three times over. Usually you’d hear John start yelling a description of the wanted tool after the third time. Patience of a bloody saint that man John. I would’ve got the tool myself and been beating him about the head [lets face it, couldn’t give him anymore brain damage] and body after the second fuck-up.
Whose a cranky cow?
But my mother-in-law must be coping okay with his continual presence on the home front. She’s made an appointment to get him on disability for dummies. And Fuck if ever a man was eligible for this it’s him. I thank Bubbha that my husband is not from his loins. It’s his step dad. Although my mother-in-law would also be thinking that their home will be paid for if he gets it. Therefore she may be able to retire earlier also.
Then I think she’ll do him in. I know I bloody would.
Who are the three most dangerous people?
A bitch with a gun.
A motherfucker with a knife.
And a cocksucker with a broken tooth.
HaHa. Sorry but it made me laugh.
And after the day I’ve had I need a bloody good laugh. It all started with the phone ringing at 4.06am. They wanted me to come into work early as there had been a fire at the nursing home. Turns out there were no flames to this fire just lots and lots of smoke. Smoke that permeated all through the rooms. Hence a helluva lot of washing for the SuperLaundryCow to attend to. I have never seen so many laundry piles…well not since the HalfPriceSpecialGirl finally got fired.Labels: Family and Assorted Fucktards
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3:04 AM ::
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Thursday, June 18, 2009
Well crud.
I’ve been gone so long I’ve forgotten how to fix my heading. HaHa. Oh well. Couldn’t be bothered relearning so we’ll all deal with it. Yeah? Yeah!
That is until it bugs my sense of balance....okay only took a day to start bugging me and I FINALLY found wtf was up with it. Frig I can be real cleverer at times. Heh
So you’d think after being away so long I would have oodles, simply oodles to yap about. Well guess what. I have bugger all.
Hmm.
We have a house.
We have just over five bloody lovely acres. Bloody lovely until it comes time to mow the two cleared acres of it. But that’s the FatBastids bitch, not like I mow them.
We have a dog. It’s a bitch of a thing. MistyMoo when she’s being good and that fucking dog of yours [directed at the husband] when she’s being not so good.
Still employed at the nursing home. Trying not to be. Figuring I can work just as hard slinging hotdogs at the local Kahns factory as I can at slinging shit from the dirty bed sheets. But alas rejection was in the mail today. Application still on file.
Been living amongst the HillBillies for over two years now. Boy time flies when yer having some fun and sometimes none. I’m still amazed at what breathes around me. A fine example of why it should be mandatory to have blood tests before getting married. Not that a blood test would stop the breeding program around here. Yeah, shoulda wiped that one on a tissue buddy!
I’ve discovered DrugStore. Com. Admittedly not the drugs I would like to order online but kinda fun all the same.
See. I did forewarn about the lack of substance in my life.
No pun intended. Although somewhat fitting.
Haven’t had that for waay too long. Perhaps that’s the reason for being blog slacking.
Anyway I say good day to yew!Labels: Soo. Back To Me Now
Posted by apositivepessimist ::
3:45 PM ::
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Sunday, March 30, 2008
FuckMeDead what a weekend.
Thankfully I have tomorrow off, then four days work then I am bloody well free from God’s Waiting Room for ssssix daaaays.
Halle-fucking-lulah.
I dunno what came first. The sense of smell or the sense of touch. But I knew when I was elbow deep in the biggest runniest clumpiest piece of crap I have EVER known to be expelled from an old person’s orifice. That it wasn’t gunna be a good day. Oh JoY. Another day like yesterday. Another day where the fuckwits certified as the nursing aides can NOT fucking decipher the words Laundry and Trash OR know their pre-school colours. See we trrrry and make it easier for them. Yelllllow is for laundry and gray is for the stinking fecal filled DIAPERS.
DeadShits!
Luckily it took me a good ten minutes to go through the cleaning/sanitising of myself. I came oh so close to storming the upstairs and slamming the unbagged diaper and bedpad on the nurses counter. But that would have meant the housekeeper would have been stuck cleaning the shit splatters that would have exploded on everything in the near vicinity. Not like she was the one who mistook the barrels.
So to help make myself feel better I left a note for the HagLikePottie instead.
HaHaHa.
It was the second one I’ve left her this week.
Yeaah. See if she hugs me next time she see‘s me.
HA!Labels: My Baad Self
Posted by apositivepessimist ::
9:48 PM ::
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