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~got nothing but toejam~
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Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Well would you look at what the cat drug in!


Oi.

*waves*

Over here.

Look it’s meeee Bitches!!

Finally I come back to haunt and stalk some of you lucky lucky buggers again…Yes. I know yers realise that yer’s are indeed being mightily blessed here. No naysayer’s need comment.

Although I must say this bastard internet provider sucks bigger dog balls than the effing provider I had over in Australia. That’s funny that uh.

No. I don’t really think it’s like ha bloody haha funny. Funny as in Dammit I’m in Amerikah now and I’m so not meant to be punked by the speed of a slow bastid internet connection.

All I can say is, they are very fortunate that I now have enough stooff to fill my days with. Or I could be really pissy, ring them and threaten to hang my bad foot up their arse for having such crappy service.

Heh. I love that saying. Cracks me up. I’ve adopted it when speaking to either ThePoodle or the LittleFatBastid. “Yeaah, you better get on and hurry up doing *insert whatever action here* before I hang my bad foot in yer arse”. Neither, ThePoodle nor the rest of TheFamily know if I’m joking or not.

Ahh the uncertainty in others. I like that.

Speaking of the Little Fat One, he’s just three feet away from me [*edit…well he was when I wrote this eight hours ago] snoring merrily, I say merrily because at the mo, this snorings a good thing; it’s masking my typing sounds. Hee. He has a big day of painting ahead of him in a few hours time. Nope, he hasn’t got a Honey Do list from either me or his mom. Tho it could be classed as a Honey Do, it’s a chore for his friend, ThePreacher.

Because Baybee The church needs a new pair of shoooes coat of paint and the Little Fat One got sucked into helping. Which I, obviously, was waay too clever to get caught up in that little joy filled caper. I waited to see how many of the actual JesusJockeys volunteered before I stuck my mitt up. See, I ain’t no John the Baptist came lately, the thing is to sit back and wait for others to step forward first. Eventually there were enough Picasso’s. Frankly, I don’t reckon the hallowed walls may have handled the two of us. Now that it’s mid morning. I know he went up there with a good working buzz on. Heh.

Enough about that and mooore about meeee.

Soo, I’m good.

Yourselves?

I have so much shit to blog about but alas not always the time…So maybe I will go to point form. Uh huh.

. Lyn the eight toed slut who lives next door has not once ventured over here in person. Apparently she is concerned I might bop her in the snout. Which cracks me up. I mean c’mon now, how old are we, bloody ten. Silly old copulating cow. She thinks I “care” that she has flashed her tits and talked inappropriately [heh heh at inappropriately] at my husband. Little do she know, that I figure if the Fat One ever went and hit that, welll his standards are way much lower than I suspected Plus he couldn’t Do the digitally challenged, creeps him out. So help me Bubbha if I ever lose a finger or toe.

. My mother in law had all of her teeth pulled just two weeks before I arrived. She always cackled like a witch when she laughed, now she has the gumminess to match. Thankfully she hasn’t the nastiness to match, I lucked out in the Mom stakes, but I knew that before I married her son. You should Always check out the mother.

. My father in law. Hmm. Well, my father in law is just a one of a kind. He’s mostly deaf…he more lip reads; which was a problem when my mom in law first got her teeth out, changed the way her lips fell when she talked…not too bright but strong as an ox, basically just downright funny to watch. He has a habit of making a certain noise when he is confused, it’s a crossbreeding of the words What and Huh and then mixed in is the puzzled noise. I’ve heard it so often, that now I am unintentionally mimicking him. I walked in the door last night, picked up an unfamiliar object off the table and did his WhaHuuh…then three seconds later when I realised who I sounded like started laughing like a banshee.

Oh well, that’s enough for you lot now.

Ciao bellaahs.

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Posted by apositivepessimist :: 1:00 pm :: 19 comments

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