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Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Smootch My Snootch! [#2]

Much gratitude for handing over the pee jar so quickly the other day week. I mean you could have held me there with that all important task of getting a persons details and particulars for those pesky forms that just won't wait to be filled out. Oh wait on a minute, that's what you did do. I dunno, maybe here's a clue for yers the next time. If the person in front of you looks like they are swaying from side to side and bobbing up and down. There's a bloody good chance that person is not, I repeat, not, reliving their grooving moves at their first school social. Yes, I knoow they are stepping from foot to foot, but just like a little heathen, it usually means they have reaally. got. to. bloodywell. goooo.

Taah fer doing yer utmost best to clear my lungs of all their muck by exploding the shrivelled old pair of buggers. I mean if it weren't for you both, I would have only walked up and then down that mighty steep hill, the once. But no, both of you's must have thought. By jove, now here's a person that needs to lose some of their wobbly bits. Hence the forgetting to give me my form for the pathologist to sign. I knoow youse didn't realise that I do so hate to stagger up the same hill twice.

Yes, Thanks again to the pair of you's for making me pass that special person selling those special pens, not once, but twice. Fer crying out loud she was special, I had to buy two of them bloody rip off pens. They are fine points, I don't like that in a pen. And black ink as well. Blerhh. If I didn't have to walk up that second time I may just have missed out on being hounded by that partially deaf person shouting at me for a donation. Wheezing out "Bugger Off! I gave last time" doesn't have the same effect as being able to hiss it out. Let alone having the energy to raise my hands high enough to thrust my ticket receipt under their pointy little nose, whilst stabbing them in their beady little eyes with my fine-point pens.

Oh and bless yer little cotton socks in yer ability to give the most excellent directions. But, perhaps telling your patients that the entry into the Posh Hotel's parking lot is on the other side of the block. Yes, you knooow, that parking lot that you can use yer smart looking stamp on, therefore validating the ticket where it only costs your patients five bucks.

I love you both! Yer's made me feel so good about being me. No truly, you both did. Not every day I get to see who I don't want to grow up to be like. The day I don't show my smiley lines is the day I become like you pair. Two bitter twisted up hags; matron hag and her younger hag in training.


Posted by apositivepessimist :: 6:09 am :: 15 comments

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