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Monday, February 26, 2007

Please tell me yer "playing" when you say you can't remember where you parked the car?!!

Does anyone actually know how many underground car-parks are in Brisbane? Roughly the vicinity around Ann Street and the three street blocks below it. My Mum and I investigated as in walked all around them, in about ohh six of the bastid hot, smelly things. Yep, she couldn't remember where she parked the car. The little yellow disk she got when she parked was no fucking help in locating said car-park. It was blank of ANY identifying marks. I had no clue where she parked because I had to leap out of the car at a traffic light to make my appointment. Yes I nearly got skittled by a truck. Imagine my pissiness if I had of. Not to mention the size of the piss puddle around me.

Desperado with a Full Bladder...move the Fuck aside Peeple...and Don’t Look AT Mee!!

It's kinda hard to walk fast with yer upper thighs and yer fanny flaps, squeezed closed, tighter than a cat's arse. I wasn't really too bloody successful at it either. Although I did think at the time I had leaked something other than urine. Think red.

So it was no wonder I was shaking from my fast paced game of hike and pedestrian dodge along with the possible thought of total embarrassment when trying to hand my passport and shit to the doctors receptionist. She asked if I was okay, my hands were shaking that fucking badly. Would have hated to have had my blood pressure taken then I tell ya. I just shook my head in that roundabout way that suggests I'm neither okay and pointless going into it and begged for the toilet direction and the sample jar.

Oh Joy! The toilets were up THREE escalators inside the Posh Hotel building. So much for an untainted pee test huh. I coulda had nearly anyone pee in my jar. "Hey middle-aged woman, do you wanna try something FUN".

When I came back from relieving both my bladder and my mind [discovering I didn‘t have a big red arsed patch visible in my nether region] I sat in the only vacant chair thinking...How in The Fuck was my Mother gunna find me, or I her. Neither of us knew where the other one was Exactly. Brisbane is a pretty big city, not to mention there's a fuckload of people in it...We passed/ran into/dodged/asked just about them all when I was done with the doctor/blood test/x-ray places...I know we saw some of them five times when looking for that fucking car-park.

She knew I was somewhere in Ann St and that the Posh Hotel had something to do with my whereabouts...a few people were called into the various doctors. When lo and bloody behold my Mother got up from the furtherest chair away from me and sat down grinning in the closest one to me.

I swear my mother could have been a blood hound. HaHa.

So she has not totally lost her short-term memory, she remembered my mentioning the name of the Posh Hotel unlike me at this moment. The Sofitel or Socatel or something.

We eventually found the car about two hours and what felt like at least two hundred foot kilometres later. I wish I had worn my pedometer could really tell how much we walked looking for that fucking car and it's hidey hole.

Funny. Later, when we had safely returned to my Aunts, Mum say’s “I didn’t tell you this earlier, but I had forgot to lock the car’s backdoors”.

Maan it coulda been reaaally worse aye. Heh.

Car-park cost = $34.
Fluid loss = about half my body weight.
How I feel about my Mum = she's absolutely priceless. Although I would have sold her on the cheap this day.

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Posted by apositivepessimist :: 9:12 pm :: 12 comments

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