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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Criminal background checks and lying about my whereabouts.

Tuesday was my first Day Care back with my crotchety old crack hoes. As much as I was dreading it...read sitting on the loo for my morning poo alternatively wailing "Awww but I don't waaanna gooo up theeeere" and "Fuck me, stupid bitch, why didn't I take an extra week off"...Yeah like I'd be feeling any different in a weeks time. I got my shit together [heh] bracing myself for a frolic fun filled day I made it out the door and on time. Unlike my second day back at work last week when I listened to me when I said “Bugger it, don’t feel like going today” so I didn’t. How good am I aye! Return to work from my holidays on the 9th and chucked a sickie on the 10th. At least I had the forethought to have them bring their own activity for the morning so I didn’t have to muck-arse around with that.

The day had it’s fair share of highlights. Well okay two highlights. That greedy bitch volunteer that gets on my tits didn’t show up. Still school holidays so I was pretty sure she wouldn’t be there. But, you just never frigging know. Plus, I successfully managed to bail out of the first monthly meeting. Really, did I ever doubt that I wouldn’t come up with an excuse. As the introduction in my monthly report said...My apologies for being unable to attend this meeting as I am fulfilling my first love, namely that of Bingo calling this afternoon. Yes, on certain days...I can and do embrace the yawn fest that is calling bingo numbers. Funny that those embracing days are usually the third Tuesday of the month. But nonetheless I embrace thee.

Guess what I did today? I pretended I wasn’t me when I had a phone call from my governing body. “No, sorry she’s just popped out, can I take a message”, then I listened to the caller getting snippy about leaving a message on the machine last week and having still not received a call back. I managed to not give myself away with a “Bitch. You didn’t ring here!”. Buggered where that message went, for the life of me I don’t recall having or deleting one from her. So then I had 30 minutes of wondering what the hell they wanted and damn why did I pretend I was not me, now I’ll have to fake a voice...hmmm I wonder if I can pull off a Pakistani accent...when I return the phone call.

When I rang back, I got some bloke with a “She’s not at her desk, can I take a message”. Okay phone tag, I like this game, perhaps we can play it til I’m out the work door and deal with her another day. Not to be. Reminding myself to not sound like me each time I answered the phone, I waited for her to return my return call. She did. Was about a positive answer in a criminal background check for one of my volunteers. Because we deal with the aged and frail all volunteers must have a background check. Stands to reason, can’t have a granny or grandpa beater delivering their meals on wheels can we.

Alas it was not about that greedy bitch volunteer, was looking hopeful about shedding her arse and all. So now I have to ask this particular volunteer what she was “convicted” of in 2006 and then ring this lady back and she will tell me where we go from here. I’m pretty sure I know what it is for, the volunteer in question has been driving for twenty odd years and has never held a licence to do so, I recall a snippet about her getting pinged for it a few months back. I don’t “employ” her to drive, just to occasionally cook and help throw them on and off the short bus on their once a month bus outings.

In reality it will be irrelevant as this volunteer is relocating back up to Queensland in a month or so.

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Posted by apositivepessimist :: 2:50 am :: 11 comments

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